Happy Without You, Happier With You

Updated: Mar 8, 2020

(Source : Illustration315)

Love and happiness.

I had so many misconceptions about it. For instance, I believed in the fairytale that implies that as a woman, I could only find happiness if a man came over and rescued me from my pathetic existence. I honestly thought that I couldn’t be happy if I didn’t find my husband. I was in lack of love and thought finding the one would be the only way to ever taste joy.

I was wrong.

Don’t get it twisted. I want to get married. I want to find my other half and be his lifetime partner. However, my happiness will not only depend on his ability to make me happy.

Let me explain.

If you want to be truly happy, you have to start by being happy with yourself. Find God, find who you are (who you want to be, who God wants you to be), find what makes your heart beat and your soul smile. Then, once you have got yourself together, God will send you someone who will take as much – or even more – heart in making you happy than you do.

You have to be responsible of your own happiness. Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. I mean, will you be sad and desperate until your soul mate comes around? No, you have to create a path of happiness for yourself. You are a purpose here, with or without him.

Moreover, I was thinking… Wouldn’t it be hard to make someone else happy in a relationship if there is not happiness in your own heart?

Keep in mind that people who don’t feel good about themselves are the ones who tend to hurt others because of their inner insecurities.

By the way, I am not getting involved in a relationship that will put my peace and happiness in jeopardy. I am protecting my energy and if it decreases when I am with you, then you need to exit my life. I don’t have this kind of time to waste.

As I see it, I should be happy without you, but happier with you. If being with you doesn’t add this little feel-appeal to my life, then we mustn’t be together. I can’t afford to let anybody else drive my life this way. Let me tell you why.

When I started college I had a best-friend I have known since middle school. He basically was my life support and I allowed him to be the guardian of my happiness. He had to move abroad and I felt so alone and dismayed that I fell into depression (for the first time). I couldn’t see my life without him and I was so dependent of his encouragements that I was lost when he left. I used to call him “my mental strength” and I didn’t know how much it was true… Be careful with what you say, you could really speak it into existence.

Therefore, your mission is to make yourself happy before you go out there and try to make anybody else happy. I believe that if you treat yourself right, you will treat others better.

“I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.” - Ecclesiastes 3:12

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