I shaved my hair guys. Yes I did and it was so liberating. I have always wanted to do it because the hair on the back of my head couldn’t keep up with the rhythm of growth of the rest of my head. This therefore was logistics reasons that I needed cutting.
But I was so scared.
I was scared of being shamed. My self-confidence was low and being mocked or bullied wasn’t an option. It would have destroyed me. I was young, and looking for people’s acceptance. I couldn’t afford not to fit in.
And I was scared of what I would look like. I have been body-shammed my whole life so I was persuaded to be ugly. I mean, people - my family members basically - told me so many times how big my nose was or that my eyes were too big (yes, I come from a family of roasters) so I ended up believing what they said. I thought they had valid points. I was feeling bad about myself and envied others for what they looked like. I will write another article about it but, my self-esteem was almost non-existent and the image I had of myself was terrible. I thought I wasn’t good-looking and I wouldn’t take a chance in trying to do anything that would make me uglier. I wasn’t confident like that.
And I was scared I wouldn’t like it. Dude, it took me years to even rock colorful braids as I thought they wouldn’t look good on me. Cutting my hair would have been out of hand for me.
And I was scared my hair wouldn’t grow back. Silly. We’re talking about hair man. It grows back. What was I thinking?
But I finally made the big move right before Easter 2018. I went to the hair stylist and had it shaved. It felt so good. I didn’t even shed a tear when my hair fell down. That was my choice, I couldn’t cry or complain. I got myself a fly cut and I was really satisfied of the result.
I discovered that I actually have a cute face. I need to embrace what God has created.
Moreover, being a short-haired girl made me want to embrace my ladyhood. I understood that the length of my hair does not define the woman that I am.
This wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t gained confidence over the past year. I feel more secure about myself and I don’t have a minute to care about what people think about me. You are not going to transfer your self-hate on me, and if you have a problem with me, feel free to directly deal with my Maker up here. He is the reason for everything and I only listen to Him so… Anyway.
Please learn how to love yourself. Love the person God has created you to be. Put your trust on Him, feel confident to do what your heart is telling you. Just be yourself. God will not help you to become somebody else anyway.
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:14